I’m sure some of us have dissected ourselves while staring in the mirror. Pores too big, acne scarring, more meat on your bones than an average runway model or maybe even too feminine of a man they say your Mom has another daughter: The list can go on. Possibly you feel that you are already sculpted to resemble a modern day Adonis and you’re the blueprint in which others should aspire to obtain? If you’re just starting, in the middle, or almost to the finish line traveling towards self-acceptance it can be an exasperating venture. It can also be liberating.
When you’re viewing your reflection, you may only see the aesthetic imperfections. You formulate and conclude while failing to thwart the outside forces that contribute to the depiction of you. We often, subconsciously, absorb the displays of vast amounts of images in publications and visual media with “bodies of the gods” insinuating what physical physiques should be. We also encounter the various phrases in our own community that induce insecurities such as: “No Fats, No Fems.” “Blacks only.” “White only.” “Light skin only.” “Dark skin only.” “No Poz.”
Growing up an eccentric, effeminate, black male (among other things) in an environment where such is deemed unwarranted, unwanted, and repugnant, it took years to come to the point of realizing I’m not perfect: which is PERFECTLY fine. I’ve grown to accept that this is a world where very few of us are deemed universally by the masses, as being the epitome of what perfection should be. Not all of us can be Beyoncé or Morris Chestnut. Not all of us are meant to be either.
Hopefully as you navigate your journey you’ll realize that you don’t have to be a “Beyoncé” or “Morris Chestnut.” If you are, that’s fine too. It’s essential to acknowledge we all run at a different pace. What one individual may find as their way of obtaining self-acceptance may not be the right way for you. When an individual obtains self-acceptance it may not be the time you to obtain yours. That is not to negate the fact that you should start and never stop such an experience for yourself: no one else.
Never be afraid to express or embrace yourself: verbally and visually. View yourself as being worth all the riches of the universe. Acknowledge that your existence may make some uncomfortable and it’s really not your problem. Ignore the negative forces that evoke feelings that you don’t deserve to exist.
Emancipate yourself with self-acceptance. Say no to narcissism. Enjoy the ride.
- Alex N. Wanderland
Photographer/Make-Up Artist: Alex N. Wanderland
Graphic Designer: Rigardo “Rig” Rush
Agency: RIG’D Branding
Publication: Urban Socialites