You Deserve

It’s ironic that people wish the best for you, but aren’t always so accepting of the change(s) that may be required in order to become the best version of yourself. For some, change is nothing desired. I personally have no issue with that. What one does with their life is totally their decision. While it may pain me to have so much admiration, hopefulness, and utmost respect for an individual; it can’t become consuming. That’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn how to do: walk away no matter how painful it may be.

In a blissful world, we wouldn’t have to experience so much pain. Years of memories wouldn’t have to be erased. Close ones wouldn’t have to cease to exist. Yet that’s the reality for some. It doesn’t always have to be a negative reason. Sometimes, people just grow apart because their worlds may no longer collide in a way they once previously did. No love lost. Memories still flourish and if you happened to see that beautiful spirit again, it would be nothing short of a cinematic embrace.

In other circumstances, you may be forced to choose yourself over being continuously subjected to the pain of another in its many manifestations. Generally, from my own experience, it’s harder to prioritize yourself when it comes to individuals that either fit in or walk a highly tight line, in the category of unconditional love. Possibly a parent, sibling, immediate family member, or love of your life. Yet, in all honesty, it’s necessary to be able to decide when enough is enough.

Pain, arguably, can be toxic or pleasurable, and also personal. Why do you think there is a pain scale; Because you and I experience pain and it’s negative or pleasurable quantification on a spectrum. It’s quite the reason I never understood, when it comes to abuse or any toxic situation that warrants one to remove themself, (rather reluctant or not) how people criticize others methodology and logic. I’m sure we’ve all heard or seen it at some point in our life:

“If I was/were you, I would…”

“I told you not to….”

“Why didn’t you just do….”

“It couldn’t be me because I….”

Everyone is entitled to not only the establishment of their pain number, but also the ability to prioritize themselves. We, you, I, deserve to protect our overall well-being. We don’t deserve to be abused or exposed to toxic individuals and environments that threaten our journey and ability to metamorphosize into the best version of ourselves. Regardless of the pain, we can’t be afraid to fly, change, or prioritize ourselves over individuals who’s actions show, despite their words, they don’t really want the best for us. They want us to continue to enable them and/or consume ourselves with their life and the issues that reside there when in reality, it’s not our burden.

This is far from a suggestion to be a careless individual with no regard to other’s emotions. This is for those who possess a demeanor that continuously will go above and beyond for someone even after they’ve repeatedly been abusive to them (in its various manifestations), lied to, cheated on, exposed to toxic situations, and have repeatedly, unconditionally, shared the burden of others world. Don’t be afraid to spread your wings and fly, because no one can, and more than likely will not, do it for you. Become the butterfly you deserve to be and never be afraid, when warranted, to prioritize your well-being. You deserve to be/come the best version of yourself.



  • Alex N. Wanderland

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